


Here Cometh The Boi

by ThreeHats



Category: Memes - Fandom, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:40:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7708384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While searching for Lapis, Pearl has a near-fatal run-in with an unexpected character.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Cometh The Boi

**Characters:** Pearl SU (Theabridgedkuriboh), Dat Boi (Robin T)  
 **Location:** The Belly of a WhaleThe Shire (koyomatsu)  
 **Scenario:** Hunting (Isaac Kramer)

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

\--

 

In all of her experiences fighting other gems and beasts across the stars, Pearl felt a bit stupid for being swallowed by a whale. She new Jasper was causing Lapis trouble, and their fusion wasn’t going to last for much longer. Instead of approaching the situation in a calm and collected manner as she would have wished, noticing Steven was already off in the distance on the ocean had her leaving with very little preparation. 

By the time she had reached where he was far out at sea, he seemed further away than their initial distance. Peridot was going to be in plenty of trouble for building Steven a helicopter. Especially one that she was positive didn’t follow proper safety precautions for children. “Steven! I’m going to come for you, don’t worry!” Pearl exclaimed to the inside of the whale. It was then that she took in the full severity of what it meant to be inside of another animal's stomach. 

“Ok, there has to be a way out of this creature without destroying it. Rose would be furious if I killed a creature without proper cause...sigh...guess I just have to figure something else out.” Pearl thought of a chart-like image of the whale, with possible exiting options being the mouth, blow hole at the top of the head, and the...other option that would be saved for a last ditch-effort only. 

It was then that she heard faint creaking of a single wheel being peddled further in the distant shadows of the stomach. “Who’s there?! Reveal yourself!” Pearl cried at the dark. The peddling stopped for a brief moment before resuming at a faster click, stopping dramatically and starting 3-4 times before bringing the figure just out of the light from Pearl’s gem. “Get on with it!” Pearl said exasperated. 

Just as a green frog riding a unicycle emerged from the shadows, Pearl found herself yelling “OH SHIT IT’S DAT BOI WHADDUP?!” The moment the final syllable rang from her mouth she clasped her hands over her mouth looking around with wide eyes, not understanding if that was her voice, and if it was, why she was forced to say it. The frog remaining motionless, despite his arms being out to keep his balance which he didn’t seem to be struggling with. 

His creaking wheels took action to move him just out of the shadows and re-entered the area, to which Pearl cried again “OH SHIT IT’S DAT BOI, WHA-” her eyes widened in fear and shock, realizing that not only was it her voice, but this frog seemed to be able to control her at will. The frog took the next few minutes wheeling in and out of the light, making Pearl exclaim “OH SHIT IT’S-....OH SHIT IT’S DAT BOI….OH SHI-...OH SHIT IT”S DAT BOI WHADDUP...OH SHIT ITS DAT BOI...OH SHIT WHADDUP.” The frog stopped at the final call. Pearl had said it incorrectly every time, but this time in particular was the last straw. 

Pearl’s nerves were frayed. She had no idea whether this would be the rest of her life, or if the whale would poof her, leaving her stuck forever at the bottom of the ocean. As the frog approached her, she felt the urge to scream but tried to remain calm. He wheeled past her by about 20 feet, and his neck stretched to a disgusting degree to be near her face. “FOLLOW DAT BOI.” the frog said in a deep and menacing voice. Pearl followed the frog for several terrifying minutes, and as they seemed to reach an impasse, the frog held out his arms wide and declared in a booming echo “HERE COME DAT BOI”. The passageway opened, revealing that the whale was not only at the surface of the water, but had returned Pearl’s boat in perfect working order. 

Pearl recognized that she was being freed, and quickly hopped into the boat, yelling an unsure “Thank you?” back to the unicycle-riding frog that sat atop the whale’s tongue. As the whale descended to the depths and closed its mouth, the frog, disappearing behind the massive maw, locked eyes with her, giving one final warning, “Don’t talk to me or my sons ever again.”


End file.
